You made an 11 on a Par 3 hole? Just 130+ Golf Jokes So Funny They're A Hole In One - Scary Mommy P-U-T-T is correct, the instructor replied. Golfs three ugliest words: Still your shot. Dave Marr, 36. It takes a lot of balls to play golf knowing youre a bad golfer. How I Lost Weight Playing Golf & Other Golf Benefits, Golf And Fitness Tips from a TPI Golf Fitness Instructor, How to Improve Your Handicap and Golf Game, How To Know What Golf Club to Use on the Golf Course, Goal Setting is a Great Way to Improving Your Golf Game, Best Putters for Women 2023 Find the Best Ladies Putters, Black Friday and Cyber Monday Golf Discounts. As he is about to tee off, an old gentleman shuffles onto the tee and asks if he can join him. Funny Family Poems. Your source for the latest and greatest golf news, tips, gear reviews, and giveaways. If a bird sh#ts on your golf cart, do not ever take her golfing again. 75 Funny Knock Knock Jokes 2023 to Make You Laugh. How do you "Tiger" proof a golf course? A threesome were getting ready to tee off on the 10thwhen they notice a single player, running up the fairway, taking a shot almost immediately to then run up to the green for a 3 putt to put it in. Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve. 20 Funny Golf Sayings and Inspirational Golf Quotes Wodehouse The worst club in my bag is my brain. Chris Perry, 42. Bobby Jones, Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. You want some dirty golfing jokes, we got them for you. Why did Arnold Palmer get beat up? A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. Sam Snead. It is at the same time rewarding and maddening and it is without a doubt the greatest game mankind has ever invented. Arnold Palmer, 2. The pressure originates in yourself; it builds from doubts. Where is the best place to go on vacation? Playing golf is fun and exciting, but these Short Golf Jokes will make your game enjoyable. 19. Try choking donw on the shaft. Because you coming back to my hotel is the only fair way for this evening to go. Have fun. Whats the shortest distance between the tee and the hole? Dave Barry, Golf is the only game I know where you call a foul on yourself. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. No matter how badly you play, always remember its possible to play even worse. My drives aren't always long and straight.. but I can show you what is! Are you into kinky stuff? Robert Fuller Murray, Be a mind beater-not a ball beater. 350 Best Golf Quotes ideas | golf quotes, golf, golf humor - Pinterest Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings. What is the difference between Rory McIlroy and Princess Diana? Use these pick up lines to your advantage in starting a chat with your guy or girl. Whos there? Please read here for more information. What is the difference between a fisherman and a golfer? Mike was still deep in his routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Besides that, I love to explore. The Dalai Lama himself. "If everything was given to you, it wouldn't feel as good when you achieve it." Annika Sorenstam 24. Robert Fuller Murray, The uglier a mans legs are, the better he plays golf. An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it's always possible to get worse. Are you a Nike One Platinum ball because I'd like to see you on a T? Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. 13 very funny (and occasionally inappropriate) golf memes You wont be able to keep your head down long enough. "If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.". Man: Please dont go. You swing left and the ball goes right. Always keep learning. Golf turns outdoors into indoors, a prefab mat of stultified grass, processed, pesticided, herbicided, the pseudo-green of formica sterilityThe enemy of wildness, it is a demonstration of the absolute dominion of man over wild nature. Please add a link to this site. Golf?! Hilarious Golf Jokes That Will Have You Laughing on the Course | RD.ca Ian Fleming, I drove a golf ball into the air / It fell to earth, I knew not where / For, so swiftly it flew, the sight / Could not follow it in its flight. All he knows how to play with is Clubs! Why didnt the golfer finish his homework? "We learn so many things from golfhow to suffer, for instance." Lansky's quote is funny because, well, as golfers we're all a little bit masochistic. "The reason a pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.". Oh you only have a threesome, mind if I join? "It's good to see there is still some respect in the world." "Well, it's only right," the first golfer replies. Dirty Golf Sayings Jokes - Sports Jokes - Jokes4us.com "Hockey is a sport for white men. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. ~ Sijin Bt. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! Peter Jacobson, 33. We have compiled the best list of pick up lines with references to golf style, golf clubs, golf course, and various famous golf celebrity. They call it golf because all the other four letter words were taken. Raymond Floyd. The next pint in the clubhouse is on me! Because they might get a slice. How far do you hit it? said Palmer. Its possible, by too much of it, to destroy the mind. Bring some friends, and we can play a foursome. Sometimes a good joke can lighten up the mood. At the golf corpse! The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network. -- Lee Trevino "Golf is not a game, it's bondage. 10 Funniest Golf Quotes of All Time - Bleacher Report 67 GOLF INSTAGRAM CAPTIONS Funny 2021 List for Golf Lover! It was a sunny Saturday morning, and Mike was beginning his pre-shot routine, visualizing his upcoming shot when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker: Would the gentleman on the Ladies tee please back up to the mens tee, please!. Don Carter Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose. 69 Best Dirty Quotes For Him | Her | Kinky | Funny | Sayings - TryTutorial My swing is so bad, I look like a caveman killing his lunch. A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf clubs. Clubbing. Top Ten Golf Phrases That Sound Dirty But Aren't: 10. The harder you practice, the luckier you get. Gary Player, 32. People may find dirty jokes shocking or disgusting, but no one can deny they're funny as hell! I asked my caddie what he thought of my game. For true success, it matters what our goals are. Look at the size of his putter. "Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.". Americans infatuated with golf established country and golf clubs, built ornate clubhouses, laid out inland park courses, experimented with new types of equipment, and even modified time-honored rules. Required fields are marked *. Henny Youngman, Go play golf. 1. Bobby Darnel, If you want to hook a ball turn both hands toward the right side on the grip or shaft. I like big putts and I cannot lie. I told my coach I got a new set of clubs for my wife. My shaft is bent. With this in mind, here are the 10 funniest golf quotes of all time. Lorii Myers, Perhaps more than any other sport, golf focuses pressure on the player. Jim Murray. 3. 1. Pick the quote from here which describes your inner thought. You may share any of these heartfelt photos with funny golf quotes without hesitation. Palmer, how do you make a 3 iron back up like that?, Mr. Palmer replied, Do you own a 3 iron?. Ben Hogan, And theres many neat cottages with gardens very nice / And picturesque villas, which can be rented at a reasonable price / Besides, theres a golf course for those that such a game seeks / Which would prove a great attraction to the knights of clubs and cleeks. What is the similarity between four-putting and masturbation? 2023, 35 BEST Lionel Leo Messi Quotes (About Life, Work, and Football That Will Inspire You), 53 Cristiano Ronaldo Motivational Quotes (About Football, Hard Work, Life, and Family), Best Summer Captions and Quotes (for Family and Friends), 54 Helpful Business Quotes for Growth and Success. What did Chamillionaire say when he came in a stroke under par? In a way, this quote is a stand-in for the entire volume of comedic wit and great golf quotes in Caddyshack. Short Golf Jokes & Puns 1. Wodehouse, A great golfers mtier is his or her golfing skill, coupled with the mastery of good sportsmanship, rendering him or her an ambassador for the sport. Nuts! Twelfth son of the Lama. "Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.". 80+ Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings - CoolNSmart These quotes and images about funny golf are the truest, wisest, and most positive ones to be found on the web. And only one secret has emerged, one swing of thought that always works. Jim Bishop, I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. "Of course I do, my dear -- it was the day I sank that thirty-foot A great shot is when you pull it off. What does a woman do with her asshole before sex? Success depends almost entirely on how effectively you learn to manage the games two ultimate adversaries: the course and yourself. Jack Nicklaus, 45. Why didnt the golfer get his homework done? The next minute youre hemorrhaging. Bring some friends, and we can play a foursome. He was puttering around. The means are as important as the ends. "We learn so many things from golfhow to suffer, for instance.". George B. Kirsch, Nothing dissects a man in public quite like golf. Hold your 2-iron in the air, because not even God can hit a 2-iron. Are you a water hazard? The reason most politicians are golfers is that they lie better with more practice & experience. 22. I stepped on a rake. Henny Youngman in a high-pitched voice. The three tried & true methods of improving your game are: practice, study the pros, and cheat your ass off. They like cricket better. Id cry too if I played golf like you. The little ball that sat motionless, defying you to hit it. To find a mans true character, play golf with him. P.G. When your golf cart capsizes. I never learned anything from a match that I won. Bobby Jones, 62. All lip, no hole. Golf is like doing your taxes. Two, be your own person. From the moment I saw you, I've had a vertical shaft angle. Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? USE OF AND/OR REGISTRATION ON ANY PORTION OF THIS SITE CONSTITUTES ACCEPTANCE OF OURVISITOR AGREEMENT(UPDATED 1/6/23),PRIVACY AND COOKIES NOTICE(UPDATED 1/4/23) ANDCALIFORNIA PRIVACY NOTICE. 50 Greatest Golf Quotes of All Time - Bleacher Report And maybe that same element inspires the poets, writers and artists to pay homage to golfor at least lament its cruelty. Drops him off at the golf course! "Golf is the perfect thing to do on a Sunday because you spend more time praying on the course than if you went to church." brockoli117 on Reddit.com. I give the ball some sweet talk. What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day? What's worst than Elin Nordegren smashing your face in with a 9 iron? When is it too wet to play golf? Golf is a game that is special and unique in that there is always something to learn. It keeps you young. Patty Berg, 29. What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day? Boo who? Is everything okay?. 4. Concentrate on the one fault you want to overcome. Sam Snead, 55. 3. They are the two things you can thoroughly enjoy even though you are really bad at them. I just havent played yet. Muhammed Ali, I mean, who else could say something like this? 19+ Best Dirty Medical Pick Up Lines - Best Jokes and Puns We have compiled the best list of pick up lines with references to golf style, golf clubs, golf course, and various famous golf celebrity. There are no time constraints, as there are in other sports. "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.". 3. Steve Bann, It is surely quite superfluous to mention / To a person who has been here half an hour / That Golf is what engrosses the attention / Of the people, with an all-absorbing power. The man took a step back from his ball, closed his eyes and said a quick prayer. Happiness is a long walk with a putter Greg Norman, 38. "Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.". By stragetically placing fire hydrants. Golf: A five-mile walk punctuated with frequent disappointments. What do you call a blonde at a golf course? Theres enough stress in the rest of your life not to let bad shots ruin a game youre supposed to enjoy. Amy Alcott, 15. J.R. Rim, Till saints and angels hymn forevermore / The miracle of your astounding score / And He who keeps all players in His sight / Walking the royal and ancient hills of light / Standing benignant at the eighteenth hole / To everlasting Golf consigns your soul. I . But dont take it from us, check out the funny golf quotes below and enjoy a laugh or two. Just in case they get a slice! I'll let you beat me. Apparently, you cant get out of here with a seven. Obviously I'm a man that loves Gatorade and I'd definitely like to raid your gato. How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb? He attacks it. Full Text: Thank you for still being my friend even though I only talk about my horse and I smell like a barn. Golf is a lot like life. A hole in one of a kind model. I've got some good news. After some deliberation, he takes out his 3 iron and sails the ball 20 feet over the pin, and backs it up to within 3 feet of the pin. Please add a link to this article. Do you know what the Lama says? How about you bring two of your friends and we play a foursome? Because her coach was a pumpkin. See you in the Email! However, it's been poisoned for me by the fact that it was often relayed to customers at a golf course I worked at by an overweight 90-year-old man while I awkwardly feigned amusement in repeated moments of shared weirdness. 3 of 10. Robert Fuller Murray, Golf is a fascinating game. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know?" George Deukmejian waxing prophetic. Colleen Ferrari Bader, And does the man walk always so? How does a brunette keep her husband from a blond working at a golf course? 1. Intercourse! Gardner Dickinson, Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious. He doesnt hit the ball very far, but it goes straight. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I cant play it. Whether you are watching or playing golf, everyone loves a good golf joke thats why weve rounded up these Funny Golfer Jokes that you and your friends can laugh about! A wife walked into the bedroom and found her husband in bed with his golf Michael Connelly, The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. Golf Quotes (131 quotes) - Goodreads You may have heard these renowned quotes about funny golf before. 56 Golf Pick Up Lines [Funny, Dirty, Cheesy] Answer: Roarin Mcilroy. First and foremost, you must have confidence. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, Its golf balls., The blond looked at him compassionately and said: Oh you poor thing. fodrizzle. A man got on a bus with both of his front pant pockets full of golf balls. "I'm the best. Here is a list that I have compiled over the years of my some of my favorite golf quotes. A dinner without wine. The true funniest golf quotes of all time are likely never put to paper and aren't spoken by golfers or celebrities. All through the night they made wild love together. Kurt Philip Behm, The reason they call it golf is that all the other 4 letter words were used up. Jack Benny, The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight. How Long Does It Take to Play 18 Holes of Golf? My windows aren't dirty, that's just my dog's nose art! He went up to her, talked to her, and convinced her to come back to his hotel room for the night. I have 10 sons, one more and I will have my own football team., To which the Mormon replies, You fellas aint got a clue. 4. What did the golfer say to the hip hop dancer? On the Green In Two. If a man comes home with sand in his cuffs and cockleburs in his pants, don't ask him what he shot. These funny golf sayings are gathered here from all over the web so that they can serve your purpose. Golf is such an individual game, and no two people swing alike. Kathy Whitworth, 14. Fore-get Me Nots. Weve put together a list of our favorite jokes, golf puns, and one-liners you can bust out on the course, the range, or the pub to try and laugh off that 102 you just shot. Share these images with quotes about funny golf with family, friends, mates, colleagues, and all your acquaintances. Because I'm going to come after you aggressively and probably leave a ball mark. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); Don Adams, Theres an old saying in golf that when the wind blows the men are separated from the boys. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well. Just tap it in. Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated; it satisfies the soul and frustrates the intellect. "Damn, my shaft is all bent." Man: "Well, that depends on how hard I kick him in the ass." A man got on a bus with both of his front pant pockets full of golf balls. Whats one tip all golfers should follow to improve their game? Simpson, Most people play a fair game of golf If you watch them. Tiger Woods can drive a ball three hundred yards! As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is in fact a 7-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball. I know what to look for. It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. Your butt reminds me of St Andrews.. Hard and Firm. "I'll kiss you on the rain so you get twice as wet". The grass is clean, a lawn laundry that wipes away the mud, the insect, the bramble, nettle, and thistle, an Eezy-wipe lawn where nothing of life, dirty and glorious, remains. Toggle Navigation Menu . Lift your head and spread your legs. Top Ten Golf Phrases That Sound Dirty But Aren't But you cant just forget not to think. Regardless of time, place, situation, event, or occasion, it is in our human nature, to learn and express. After shooting 30 over par after 18 holes, Jim is on his way home from the 18th having a chat with his Karen. Ben Hogan, Golf has some drawbacks. Sunday Service. What do you call a blonde at a golf course? A young man with a few hours to spare one afternoon figures that if he hurries and plays very fast, he can get in nine holes before he has to head home. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? I stepped on a rake.". Ellis Parker Butler, Its good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. . How many strokes was that? Please sign up with your best email address. P.G. 63 Archery Pick Up Lines for Bows & Arrows, 23 Table Tennis / Ping Pong Pick Up Lines, 79 Marching Band and Color Guard Pick Up Lines. Go to the golf course. 700 Golf Humor | Cartoons ideas | golf humor, golf, humor - Pinterest Why do golfers carry a spare pair of golf shorts? Excuse me, Miss, are you looking for the fairway? Your second mental problem is concentration. 5. If you win through bad sportsmanship, thats no real victory. Babe Didrikson Zaharias, 11. Ive played the game for 50 years and I still havent the slightest idea of how to play. Gary Player, 39. Golf is a compromise between what your ego wants you to do, what experience tells you to do, and what your nerves let you do. Bruce Crampton making us think more than wed like to. Your email address will not be published. "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.". No defenders, no game clock, no excuses. What did the Mormon say to his golfing buddies? I hope you like it rough because I don't replace my divots. Being a thoughtful person, and a social being, I find it very amusing to explore people's thoughts, observations, and experiences. Funny Jokes - Dirty Golf Sayings THE MATERIAL ON THIS SITE MAY NOT BE REPRODUCED, DISTRIBUTED, TRANSMITTED, CACHED OR OTHERWISE USED, EXCEPT WITH THE PRIOR WRITTEN PERMISSION OF DISCOVERY GOLF, INC. 2023 DISCOVERY GOLF, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 15 very funny (and occasionally inappropriate) golf memes, 17 Awful (But Mostly Funny) Golf Fails from 2013, This new Top Flite commercial is sophomoric, inappropriate, and very funny. But there is a difference between playing well and hitting the ball well. I was off to-day! Would you mind being treated like a green that I'm 140 yards away from, holding my pitching wedge with very little wind in any direction? Knock, knock Dirty Golf - pinterest.com Golf is more complicated than that. O'Grady's comment relates the essence of the experience of a lot of rounds of golf for a lot of golfers. Whos there? All the fans are gone! no! Missed the ball and sank the divot. Instead of worrying about making a fool of yourself in front of a crowd of 4 or 40,000, forget about how your swing may look and concentrate instead on where you want the ball to go. If we . Although the same can be said of the rest of the items on this list, just reading the quote doesn't really do justice to its comedic value. The friend is quite amazed: That dog is really talented! The other 20. Wanna be my caddy? Youre too out-of-shape to play in the church softball league. Like a PGA Tour pro once said to his pro-am partners, youre not good enough to get angry. So dont even try it. James Murray, Enjoyment of golf, regardless of the level you play at, is primarily based on how closely you play to your level of ability. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: az11107, jemallor, 21ob, dudedudester1, racke78, mcsheehy54, konczalangelia, fourq2. 20 Of The Best Golf Quotes Ever - Golf Monthly Magazine Dont even putt. Many golfing terms sound naughty. Ted Ray, I started watching golf for the first time yesterday. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it. Instead, here's a great clip of Chi Chi talking about ladies he sees golfing. Golf is a game invented by God to punish people who retire early. You look like you'd be a great ball-washer. There are no absolutes in golf. If you worry about the ones you missed, you are going to keep missing them. Walter Hagen, 47. Robert Fuller Murray, I am relying on the theory that playing golf is just like riding a bike and that I havent forgotten how. 3. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees." Whats the easiest shot to make in golf? The right place is right here with me, in my bed. Boo. PG Wodehouse. Why not! Why don't golfers in England work in the afternoon? Of all the hazards, fear is the worst. Sam Snead, 27. P-U-T-T means merely a futile attempt to do the same thing.. What do you call a lion playing golf? I'm hoping to be a sore loser." Related: Best Ways On How To Flirt With A Guy Over Text? Hey would you like what you're hiding in your tight jeans to be the 34th ranked golfer in the world because I can make that V-jay sing? Bruce Lansky, Author. Again the announcement: Would the man on the womens tee kindly back up the mens tee!, Mike had had enough and shouted: Would the horses ass in the clubhouse with the loud speaker kindly shut up and let me play my damn second shot!. Find the ball. Get a Free Golf Handicap in the 18Birdies App. Best Funny Golf Memes and Pictures in 2023 - MemesBams And now it will be poisoned for you. Hit the ball. That round was so poor, I think Im going to jump into the lake by the 16th and drown myself, I honestly doubt that. See more ideas about golf quotes funny, golf, golf quotes. ~ Victor Hugo. I hope you like it rough because I don't replace my divots. Which is the easiest golf stroke? And three, have a passion for what youre doing. Juli Inkster, 28. Golf is a puzzle without an answer. clubs. Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off. Joe Torre, It is not possible to play golf consistently well without sound mental skills. If you can smoke and drink while youre doin it, its not a sport. Learn More. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows. The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his obviously bulging pants. I enjoy this bit of golf/life wisdom. The famed author of Centaur, John Updike wrote about the gentleman's game with some regularity. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! No other game combines the wonder of nature with the discipline of sport in such carefully planned ways. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. document.getElementById("copyright_year").innerHTML = new Date().getFullYear(); We do our best to represent colors accurately, but viewing screens vary from one to another, and from real life. 150 Puns From All Walks of Life. I'm Tiger Woods. Henry Beard, Golf is the hardest game in the world to play, and the easiest to cheat at. Bob Bruce One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball. His playing partner: Wow that was one of the most beautiful things that I have ever witnessed., Man: Well, I was married to her for 30 years.. Do you know why the game is called golf? 5. Not just in the game, but that can be applied to life, relationships and ones mindset. You will find the quotes being used everywhere, coming from ordinary people like us, who are just famous. Jack Lemmon, a true comedian on and off the course. Perhaps it's the depth of (often negative) emotion the average golfer feels as a result of the game that inspires him to wax poetic. I'm still working on my approach, but I think I have a pretty good swing. 23+ Revolutionary Sayings From Corrie Ten Boom | Free Hd Background Pictures Download, 52+ Knowledgeable Sayings On Cosmetologist | Free Hd Background Pictures Download, 43+ Motivating Sayings On Hungry | Free Hd Background Pictures Download, TOP 50 Inspirational Golf Quotes & Sayings | Download Images, 58+ Funny Tennis Quotes | Free Images & Pictures Download, TOP 50 Funny Sports Quotes | HD Images & Pictures Download. Diller's comment is a great take on a bit of traditional golf advice. If you drink, dont drive. She can only show you her dirty secrets in private, only with you. Joey Adams, It takes exactly eighteen shots tae polish off a fifth o a bottle o Scotch, thus, a game o golf equates tae eighteen holes. Pick your favorite one from more than 86 quotes about funny golf with images and use it wherever you like. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. If we weren't, we'd take up a less infuriating hobby, like knitting. Whats the difference between a golf ball and a car? Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night? Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if youre not good at them. Roy Tin Cup McAvoy, the greatest that never was. I wanna take out your golf clubs and score a HOLE in 1. Get in the hole! If you like football - I would rather think that you are active, optimistic and strict a bit. The greatest single lesson to be learned from golf is mental discipline. Louise Suggs, 51. Tahiti who? Is the word spelled P-U-T or P-U-T-T? She asked her instructor. They say golf is like life, but dont believe them. Ewan McGregor, It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I just got a call my wife has had a life threatening car accident and Im worried I might not make it..

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